Woman-Centred Approach
The woman centre approach has come out of the work of my teacher and mentor, Dr Claire's Zammit. Based on her 25 years research and career working with thousands of women, Claire identified a phenomena which she named the 'Power Paradox' where — on the one hand— many women are well educated, talented, accomplished, successful, powerful, and on the other hand, they feel under-realised, under-actualised and powerless to create the things that their hearts are yearning for.
In her e-Book, Claire writes that women are rising; women have become decision-makers with over a trillion dollars of annual spending power, the number of women who identify themselves as primary breadwinner are growing, there are more women graduates from Universities, there are more women on Boards and in senior positions and women also comprise the majority of participants in self-development programs.
"…However, studies are showing that at the same time we’re less happy and more lonely and depressed than we’ve ever been:
Over 20% of women are on antidepressants (not counting those of us who feel unhappy and unfulfilled and aren’t on antidepressants).
50% of us have an unhealthy relationship with either food or our bodies.
Studies show that as many as 50% of us are living alone, and those who do have partners, surprisingly, are having way less sex than our grandmothers!
6 out of 10 women experience overwhelming financial stress—many to the point where we can’t sleep at night—and not sleeping is the #1 cause of chronic illness!
And even though we’re starting businesses at higher rates, a staggering 95% of us never break through the six-figure barrier or go on to have the larger impact we want to have or make the contributions we desire to make.
This Power Paradox speaks to the common story I hear today among smart, creative, conscious women: their lives aren’t filled with the joy they’d hoped for. It’s not exactly a feeling of depression, but rather a sense of disappointment that somehow life is not as good as it could be.
So what is missing?
The “something missing” is what Maslow called “self-actualisation”, the impulse he defined as “the desire to become more and more what one is, to become everything that one is capable of becoming.”
According to Dr. Claire Zammit's research, this is the stage that so many women in our society now find themselves in.
Women struggle with their finances, not because they can’t get a job but because they’re seeking to find a way to make a thriving living under conditions that are aligned with their values.
Women who are struggling with relationships, is not because they can’t find someone to procreate with, but because they are wanting a much greater possibility of intimacy with a true soulmate—someone who can “meet them on all levels.”
Women might be struggling with their health and self-care, paradoxically because they care so much and feel the needs of others, even beyond their own family, that it’s hard to know how to prioritise meeting all the needs they are trying to serve.
Women who struggle to find their purpose, not because they have nothing to offer, but rather because they have so many gifts and options that they don’t know where or how to start.
These are NEW PROBLEMS pointing to new opportunities for women approaching this new level of self-actualisation.
When we rise to power, we feel this intense impulse to want to reach higher, to want to actualise, to want to become everything we can be and including a strong impulse to empower, to ignite, to lift others up.
We want to become authentically confident and visible, to create loving, growth-oriented relationships, and discover our purpose.
We want to feel at home, healthy and vital in our bodies, and to create prosperous careers that are truly aligned with our values.
We want to manifest our desires for fun, adventure and play, and to awaken spiritually.
We want to participate in making the world a better place—however large or small our site of inspired action might be.
In short, we want to fully become the women we were born to be!" (Dr. Claire Zammit)
Like many other women around me, I certainly fall into this category.
I wanted to create a career that mirrors my passion;
I wanted to feel confident, visible and seen, and to be recognised for my contribution;
I wanted deeper connections in my life.
I felt like I have a greater potential for my life but I felt “stuck” and had no idea where to get started. Quite frankly, I was somewhat depressed. I was a self-sacrificing mother of two. I was stuck in a pattern of giving more to everyone around me, which left me feeling utterly alone and unfulfilled.
Even the most accomplished and gifted among us are held back by these hidden barriers — these old stories about our lack of value, feelings unsupported by life, and the false belief that we need to know all the answers ourselves to be worthy of having a voice and taking up space.
These invisible barriers of shame, lack and isolation, are operating largely outside our conscious awareness and manifesting in very specific, tangible ways in our lives.
The First of these Hidden Power Blocks is Shame, this is an “inner” glass ceiling holding women back. It is an underlying belief about WHO we are that limits our power and potential e.g. “I’m not good enough, I’m too much, I’m not valuable, I’m not seen, I’m not safe,” etc.
The Second of the Power Blocks is Lack, it is about disconnection from inner wisdom and the experience of deep insecurity, fear, scarcity and a sense of it being “too late”, or that “there’s not enough”, or the need to painfully control things to feel safe.
This one puzzles many women I work with. How to break through the barrier of a chronic lack of time, money or anything else really that we deeply desire. I realised on a deep level that one can't successfully create true abundance on top of a belief that you don't deserve to have what you want.
The Third of the Power Blocks is Isolation, which blocks the support women need to access to rise into power. I learnt to identify my needs and surround myself with friends, colleagues and people who hold a bigger vision of my potential.
These barriers are not unique to women however I have seen more women living a minimised life and playing small because of these inner blocks. One of the reasons I am so drawn to this work, is because there are few companies and organisations that are responding specifically to women’s needs for solutions, training, products, or services that are designed to specifically meet these new challenges and opportunities.
So many women who are hungry for self-empowerment, personal and professional growth, find that most traditional life-coaching approaches are goal-oriented and strategic. These approaches don’t work when it comes to the growth and opportunities most women want to create.
Coaching has been traditionally focused on supporting individuals and organisations to set goals, create plans, formulate next steps and achieve results. These foundational skills are valuable and have set a foundation for us to build upon, however, in order to support women to access the power to self-actualise and manifest potentials, we need to evolve into a new realm of coaching called ‘Transformational Coaching’. This is an integrative approach to coaching that incorporates different aspects of therapy, counselling, mentoring and training.
Transformational coaching is a dynamic, growth-oriented relationship that creates a safe space for the client to tap into their deeper potentials, as well as question and release limiting assumptions, beliefs, and ways of being. This process expands the client’s meaning-making frames, and catalyses new ways of being, which leads to the cultivation of new skills and capacities.
As a coach, my role is to support you to be cultivating, growing and developing the power to create your pathway to fully realise your potential.
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