Clarity Precedes Confidence
Sometime we feel stuck. In a job we hate, in relationships we fear to challenge, in an old story we keep telling ourselves...
When I got to my mid thirties, I looked at my life and asked "Is that It?". On the surface, everything was fine - really! or at least wasn't bad enough or painful enough to push me to change anything, but I distinctly remember a moment, when I was washing the dinner dishes, asking myself if this feeling that there is so much more out there, has legs in reality outside of my own head.
Of course there was. What was missing - was clarity.
It is a lack of clarity that create chaos and frustration. Those emotions are poison to any living goal ― Steve Maraboli
The truth is that I had no clarity on what I wanted - so I didn't act
I had no idea what I needed - so I couldn't really ask for help
I didn't really know what was possible - so I played small
Instead, I blamed a lot. Myself first of all, then others, external circumstance, my past...
Let me share a little tip with you - if you find yourself blaming, it is a great indication that you need to look WITHIN. For example, if you find yourself feeling undervalued at work, blaming your boss or the culture, ask yourself - do you value yourself?
Clarity precedes Confidence
For a very long time I knew to say that my confidence was low. I used to look at other women at my workplace and admire them for their courage to speak up, to ask for a promotion (and get it), to run big departments and large teams, and I assumed they must have something I don't.
Today, I know that the reason for my lack of confidence was lack of clarity. I was disconnected from myself; from my value, my qualities, my wisdom, my desires, my needs...
Try getting in touch with all of these and see what happens to your confidence!
Here are some simple but powerful questions to ask yourself:
What do I want
What do I like
What do I need
What I am good at
What I am good at, but not interested in doing anymore?
Why I do what I do? what is the real motivation underneath my choices
What I do today - helping people get clarity so they find their confidence to ask for what they want and need, is because I wish I had that 10, 20 years ago.
Action precedes Clarity
Clarity comes from action, not thought
The antidot of feeling stuck and powerless, is action and engagement.
Sometime when I feel stuck, I simply leave my desk and go for a walk. By the time I've gotten some fresh air, changed my environment and got my body moving - often I find the answer. It may not be the answer to all my questions or problems, but I find the next step for right now, and from there - finding the next step and the one after is easier.
In the pic, the place I go to find clarity
